If I Can Turn Back Time Essays

One of the most boneheaded expressions in the English language is the one that describes old age as "The Golden Years." Who came up with that one? Probably not an actual old person. I mean, what's so golden about walking into a room and forgetting why you're there or feeling guilty about the fact that you're 57 and haven't had a colonoscopy yet or watching helplessly as your muscles start to resemble pie dough?

The only people for whom those years are golden are your internist or the orthopedic surgeon he sends you to every two weeks because your back is killing you. These guys are the ones accumulating the gold. The only thing you're accumulating is wasted time arguing with customer service representatives at Blue Cross.

Another boneheaded notion is that the older you get, the wiser you become. I don't know about you, but I don't feel particularly wise. What's the theory here -- that once you've reached a certain age, you're supposed to suddenly turn into Aristotle? Or maybe people think that older folks are wiser because they've spent so much time in doctors' waiting rooms studying copies of National Geographic that were published before Arizona became a state.

Sure, I've had experiences and I've learned things from some of them. I've learned, for example, that it's a bad idea to rent a car in Athens. I've learned that forgetting your wedding anniversary will most likely lead to a night on the couch. I've learned that honesty is not always the best policy. I've learned that getting drunk and barfing at a dinner party is not considered classy.

So what?

No, the real golden years take place when you're young. Remember those days? You didn't need Botox to keep your face from resembling a topographical map of the lower Tetons. Your hormones were permanently set on blitzkrieg mode. Serotonin was practically shooting out of your ears. You thought a radiologist was someone who fixed radios. The future was still a bright, exciting prospect, not a reason to make out a Living Will. You could have milkshakes for breakfast and not gain weight. You were invincible.

So here's the question: If you could magically turn back the clock, how old would you choose to be? And whatever that age is, would you want to know what you know now or not?

I've asked a few of my friends these questions. Some of them actually say they like being older and would never want to be young again. I don't see these friends that much because I can't seem to find the time to visit them at the asylum

Others say they'd like to be young again, but only if they knew what they know now. Really? To me, this makes no sense either. I mean, why would someone want to be, say, 21, and worry about what to put in a DNR? Why would you want to know beforehand that love and lust are not the same thing? Or that you will probably never direct a move? Or that your wildest dreams will probably never come true?

To me, it's a no-brainer. I'd love to be 20 again and make the same dimwitted blunders I made then. I would trade in wisdom and caution for naiveté and impulsiveness any day.

What would you choose?

Follow John Blumenthal on Twitter: www.twitter.com/john_blumenthal

240 Responses Want to participate? Publish a new post on your blog interpreting the theme. Create a pingback to this challenge and we’ll list your post below. Show instructions.

Pingbacks are easy! Just copy and paste the code below into the HTML tab of your post editor and you should be all set.
Please note that sometimes it takes a little while for your post to show up in our grid.

Timelessness – LFLOP * LiveFree & LoveOnPurpose Timelessness – LiveFree & L💫veOnPurp💫se If I Had a Time Turner – Books, Movies, and More Smores and Sundresses Hello. It's me. Hour Glass – cloud pedaler Saint P. Blogging Prompt for the Day: "If I Could Turn Back Time" If you could turn back time… Nostalgia – MyBlog Confessions of a SAHM Site Treasure the little things Confessions of a SAHM Site Treasure the little moments The World of Brittany If I Could Turn Back Time Timelessness – Sundragonlady's Cavern of Lost Words Todo cambia en la vida – Tips for you If I Could Turn Back Time – My Mixed Blog Espiritu en Fuego/A Fiery Spirit If I Could Turn Back Time ~~ The Daily Post writeintent1 RELIVING THOSE MOMENTS! in the moment retreating wrinkles “ If I Could Turn Back Time” – “A pre-published Indie Author Typical Tracy I’d Catch Tiger Beat by the Toe A place I might take 1 step back, but always 2 forward. If I Could Turn Back Time A Word Adventure If I Could Turn Back Time ~ No Changing The Past If I Could Turn Back Time; I wouldn’t be in Prison – My Name is Jamie. My Life in Prison Copper Cranes Static pursuer of passions Back When You Didn’t Hurt Me Wang and The City Bye Felicia, I mean 2015 and Past Mirth and Motivation Haiku: Superpowers For The Ages… Fluffy Pool Forgive me for the profanities in this post. The Sweetest days – whatsrightintheworldtoday I livet, timeflow – ilivetblog Following Seas Sail Back – BACKPACKER's DIARY Sew N Yards if I could turn back time Awake & Dreaming If I Could Turn Back Time An Upturned Soul The Sense of Being Heard The Inkwell Insach Misfit. Return – Lighting Stage Thoughts & Reflections If I Could Turn Back Time Far North Fiction If I could Turn Back Time If you could turn back time… | shadow realities Turn back or surge forward Harvey Millican: Raising Your Kids Without Lowering Your IQ If I Could Turn Back Time Conscious and Breathing Uncertain Voyage Natural Brown Momma If I could turn back time A little wish – Khari's Writings Margret's Life Journey! If I Could Turn Back Time Nikikinz If I Could Turn Back Time Kat Turn Back the Hands of Time Sacrificial Chain Breaker IN THE MOMENT MY ENDURING BONES Oh HELL No! The clock is our worst enemy – Nicole Martin If I Could Turn Back Time: Not A Good Idea! – Blogmaniac CozeySL Love to Decorate The Event welcomes you to a New Year! ettacarina No Alarms and No Surprises Seachy Waffles On, Chronic Pain is a game changer If I could turn back time……. Si je pouvais revenir en arrière : remords ou regrets ? – Ma Boîte à Merveilles Time Travel for Fun and Profit – Rudy's Ruminations DaisyOguonu I will do it again MyEatPrayRVing Life If I could turn back time… Yowza, Here We Go! “Turning Back Time” suicide, suicide prevention – Theo Herbots Webloggers #bloghop1 Coming At You Live MC's Whispers The unlikely bull-fight You will reap with time – Success Inspirer If I Could Turn Back Time, or Life in 2010 – Geek Ergo Sum Confessions of a SAHM Treasure the little moments A Little Side Quest – in medias res thepennedjournal Can I Redo? Where Arrows Spring – Call Me Incorrigible It's All in Finding the Right Words TURN BACK TIME writing blog If I Could Turn Back Time Löwland If I Could Turn Back Time If I could turn back time……….. – Suziland.net Daily Blogging Prompt: If I could turn back time. – A Few Words in Some Kind of Order If I could go back – Scattered Showers in a Clear Sky Family, Parenting and God IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME In So Many Words Do Over Saint P. blogging Prompt for the Day: “If I Could Turn Back Time” If I Could Go Back – Redhead Reflections thelonerose If I could turn back time The Skin I’m In – M A S H Emotional Fitness One Step At a Time To Wear A Rainbow once again…haiku Rewind The Clock of “She” – SunDragonLady ;) A lot from Lydia Do-Over Jacki Kellum Juxtapositions: Read My Mind What A Tangled Web We Weave, When First We Practice to Deceive – Ourselves: A Cautionary Tale from the Queen of Denial Impromptu Promptlings Would wish for a second chance… sparksfromacombustiblemind Turn Back The Hands? Daily Prompts – John Jr's WordPress Blog January 12, 2016 Some Things, A Clock Can’t Fix – The Life of Jan Daily Prompt 1/12/2016 Today – Life is great a cooking pot and twistedtales Fast Forward Please… If I Could Turn Back Time – healthyliving894 Just aimlessly questioning life In Retrospect The Wandering Poet DP Prompt ~ Turn back time Myammy! Moving in together at 50... Timing: it was the best of times… Another Bad Conversation No Rewind The Cat Chronicles Daily Feline Prompt: If I could turn back my whiskers lifelessons – a blog by Judy Dykstra-Brown Passing Time Random Brain Musings Finger on the Calendar The Letter (sigh) – write where I belong Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss If I could turn back time – No thankyou Hello. It’s me. – Smores and Sundresses Daily Post Writing Prompt – If I Could Turn Back Time – Allison's Written Words The Rucksack wormhole the FLAVORED word Why you should never let time have her way with you. Random Storyteller origins of the world in a greenhouse Life with Jess Forgetting the Former Things. sandmanjazz It’s Easy to Remember Zombie Flamingos A walk up high emmapalova If I Could Turn Back Time DCMontreal: Blowing the Whistle on Society Back When I Was Young: Movie theatres were BYOF Hot White Snow Going Back in Time Thoughts of an INFP Daily Post: A parchment to scribble my thoughts, to tell a story. If I Could Turn Back Time I-read A LITTLE SADNESS… Just Writing! Lantern Words The Present Gift Vexing Point If I Could Turn Back Time Rob's Writings October 14 – If I Could Turn Back Time Gertie's Journey If I Could Turn Back Time la vie est belle Going back a few chapters My Fangirl Universe If I could turn back time Your Daily Dose If I Could Turn Back Time Writing Prompts Living in The Early 1900's Little Pieces of Me If I Could Turn Back Time The Nameless One If I Could Turn Back Time Life is not for everyone. If I Could Turn Back Time toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish) NaPoWriMo – Poem / Poetry – “Searching For Release” lic112014's Blog If I Could Turn Back Time That's My Answer Daily Prompt from Wordpress: If I could turn back time Your Daily Dose If I could Turn Back Time field of thorns The Death of Time Passionate Ambika Live just for today!! jsleflore Hitting The Reset Button A Nerdy Geek's blog Simple Sentiments Sula1968's Blog Where Do You Go To My Lovelies I solemnly swear i am upto no good! If I could turn back time zaphnathpaaneah Path of the Past Psychology Muffins Mental Time Travel ktjjenkins My Regrets Aren’t What I Thought They’d Be. Sugar, Spice, and Everything euNice The Past Unrecovered Alexia Jones If I Could Turn Back Time Nola Roots, Texas Heart If I Could Turn Back Time Tonkadella's Things in Life If I Could Turn Back Time vic briggs Unrequited itsmayurremember Back in Time a sweet bright thing Still Sand Here I am !! Born to Be With You tnkerr-Writing Prompts and Practice If I Could Turn Back Time with More Talking Animals Seat Fleet A Guatemalan Affair If I could turn back time Speculative Paradigm Shifts Wrong Answer Late Bloomer Liz If I Could Turn Back Time F X T 8 If I Could Turn Back Time My Renaissance Blog If I Could Turn Back Time, If I Could Reminisce. the intrinsickness Letter to My Future Self Edward Hotspur Back To The Blanket litebeing chronicles Hindsight is 20/10 My Author-itis The Two-word Answer Trucker Turning Write It had lights! Ty If I could Turn Back Time. meanderedwanderings Of Days that Once Have Been (A Poem) ~Tiger lily~ If I could Turn Back Time… Right The Writer If I could, I wouldn’t . . . All Things Cute and Beautiful Being able to Relive! ROBIN'S REAL LIFE If I Could Turn Back Time aliabbasali DP: Turn Back Time – A Question of Moments by Ruswa Fatehpuri Starting Write Now If I Could Turn Back Time/DP Challenge Destino If I Could Turn Back Time: Daily Post janetcatland If I Could Turn Back Time, from the Daily Prompt Kosher Adobo That Time We Had to Smuggle Bacon Into the Country.. Overcoming to Becoming Flowing Backwards Call Me Incorrigible Glazed in Gold SusannaAntihero You can’t always go back. Raising Our Redheads Do “Do Overs” Exist? mnemosynesandlethe Once upon a summer djgarcia94 Disrupting the Flow treasurethememory If I Could Turn Back Time eastelmhurst.a.go.go but that was yesterday and yesterday’s gone Morrighan's Muse Mother Views Splash! Harda – A Seed is Sown Vampire Maman It isn’t a good thing or a bad thing. It is just a thing. Markie's Daily Blog If I could Turn Back Time, 01.04.14 Why is there bread in my Kool-Aid? If I Had It To Do Over – Daily Prompt Dreams to Reality ! Pure Land The Flavored Word DO NOT cash in that stock grandma gave you! wisskko's blog First Love The Bohemian Rock Star's "Untitled Project" Would I have asked you to dance? Life is great Travel to the innocence Scorched Ice DP: Do Over That Montreal Girl If I could turn back time Chronicles of an Anglo Swiss If I Could Turn Back Time Life Confusions Time Travel Help Me Distribute Personal Care Items With Dignity Thoughts Go Back I’d kick my own butt. theoriesinthought If I could turn back time I'm a Writer, Yes I Am Corn One Educator's Life Revisiting myself psychologistmimi The Best Moment Award: Living for the Now and for Mom’s Penguin Stories Emotional Fitness Turn Back, Stop at Fifty Dave Kester If I Could Turn Back Time | Shawn If I could Turn Back Time FREE BIRD Relive those moments… Flowers and Breezes If We Go Back Duniya Ku For the Love of …. The NORTH BORNEO RAILWAYS Daily Post. Presente seikaiha’s blah-blah-blah If I could Turn Back Time Averil Dean Zin Haiku By Ku My First Bloggyversary! myjourneyeveryday Daily prompt :) Bob's Blog-O-Rama If I could Turn Back Time Lisa's Kansa Muse Endless Summer thanks for letting me autograph your cat But All the Time Turners Broke… From Hiding to Blogging


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *